Metamorphosis at the Beauty Salon

Metamorphosis at the Beauty Salon

 

Sometime in May at the height of summer, was at my hairdresser, trying to metamorphose from a beehive to a human.  I told my hairdresser, short, summer cut.  The cool comfort of the salon, was bliss from the searing heat outside, must have dozed off.

A tap on my shoulder brought me back to the land of living.  Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, looked aghast in the mirror, blinked my eyes to confirm it was me.  What looked back was an army recruit with a regulation army haircut.

Ohmigosh!!  A veil would have been ideal. However, neither there was a veil nor would the earth cooperate, open, and swallow me up.  I paid the hairdresser for her efforts, a princely sum of Rs. 500/- for keeping me five nanometers away from baldness.

 Putting my chin up, shoulders back, took a deep breath and walked out, tripped, snapped the strap of my sandal, the proverbial ‘last straw that broke the camel’s back’.

Disdainfully ignoring the smirks and sniggers, walked down the road, up to the mocchi (cobbler), looked at him straight in his eyes and dared him even to smile. (Had a look ‘I will scratch your eyes out’).  The poor chap fearing for his eyes quickly bent his head and got on with his work.

 Then this guy about twenty something, jauntily walks up from behind me, rests his elbow nonchalantly on my shoulder to balance himself.  Taken aback, I moved away.  He looked at me. His face crumbled in utter disbelief, apologizing profusely; he beat a hasty retreat.  He must have taken me for a tapori (lout), with my jeans and tee-shirt and the haircut. 

The mocchi and I burst out laughing. The mocchi sheepishly said to me.  “Memsahib, aap to ladka lagti ho, becahare ki kya galti hai?  (You look like a boy, how you can fault the poor guy)”

After all, the haircut was worth something.

And talking about metamorphous, here is one for the road……..

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.  Seeing God she asked,

“Is my time up?”  God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, and a tummy-tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.  Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years?  Why didn’t ' you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance? "

God replied, “That’s because I didn't recognise you!”